Recently I stumbled upon a post on FetLife (all hail FetLife :)) that I just had to share. The post starts with a few general manners from feudal Edo (now called Tokyo) and continues to translate these into manners of rope by the author Bingo Shigonawa.
Unfortunatly the English of Bingo-san is not too good at the moment so the translation of his text was done by the lovely Rida
Here we go, most Western people can learn from these insights...
Main Polite Gestures (主なしぐさ)
Kasa kashige - Tilt your umbrella (傘かしげ)
On rainy days, when passing another person, be mindful to not to drip water on them by making sure to tilt your umbrella outwardly (away from the other person).
:雨の日に互いの傘を外側に傾け、ぬれないようにすれ違うこと.
Kata hiki (肩引き) - Pull in your shoulders
When passing another person on the street, make sure to pull your left shoulder toward the shoulder of the road (remember that you walk on the left side in Japan).
道を歩いて、人とすれ違うとき左肩を路肩に寄せて歩くこと
Toki dorobou (時泥棒) - Don’t be a Time thief
Showing up at someone's place without announcement, being late to an appointment, or actions that waste the other person's time are unforgivable sins.
断りなく相手を訪問し、または、 約束の時間に遅れるなどで相手の時間を奪うのは重い罪（ 十両の罪）にあたる
Ukatsu ayamari (うかつあやまり) - Be the first to apologize
Even if it was the other person that stomped on your foot, be prompt in apologizing: "I'm sorry, my distraction caused it". In this way the air will clear immediately and the good atmosphere will be kept.
たとえば相手に自分の足が踏まれたときに、「すみません、 こちらがうかつでした」と自分が謝ることで、 その場の雰囲気をよく保つこと。
Shichisan no michi (七三の道) - 7:3 road
Don't walk in the middle of the street, but walk as if to occupy only 30% of it and leave the 70% for other people and emergencies.
道のど真ん中を歩くのではなく、 自分が歩くのは道の3割にして、 残りの7割は緊急時などに備え他の人のためにあけておくこと
Kobushi koshi ukase (こぶし腰浮かせ) - Rise one fist high
In preparation for other people getting on the boat, be ready to move to create another place by keeping your body one fist high from the seat.
乗合船などで後から来る人のためにこぶし一つ分腰を浮かせて席を 作ること
Sakarai shigusa (逆らいしぐさ) - Don’t be oppositional
Don't start sentences with "But" and "However", as listening to the caring words of the elderly will aide you in growing as a person. However at times, your respectful actions might even provide enlightened to them.
「しかし」「でも」と文句を並べ立てて逆らうことをしない。 年長者からの配慮ある言葉に従うことが、 人間の成長にもつながる。また、 年長者への啓発的側面も感じられる。
Nawa shigusa (縄しぐさ) - Rope Manners
The Good Manners of Rope by Bingo Shigonawa
Ashi ukase (足浮かせ) - Rise your feet
Never ever step on someone else's rope. Most riggers care deeply for their rope and are very particular about it. Treating it with respect is expected, and stepping on it is truly rude and disrespectful.
他人の縄は決して踏んではならない。縄に想いや拘りを持つ人は多い。大事に扱うのは礼儀で、足で踏むのは大変失礼。
Nawa kotowari (縄ことわり) - One word
As you are not to step on someone else's rope, you should also not touch it without asking for permission first. Even if you are driven by the good intention of helping tide it up, you should always check with the rope owner if it is ok to touch it.
足浮かせと同様に他人の縄に触れる時は、 一言ことわりをいれる。例え親切心で縄の片付けをする時にでも、 持ち主に触れていいか確認をしてから触れる。
Shichisan no yuka (七三の床) - the 3:7 floor
When you happen to be tying in close proximity to someone else and share the same space, it is a good rule to focus on occupying only 3/10 of the space and leave 7/10 of the floor space to the others. If both parties focus on this, it will end up that both sides will be using exactly no more than half of the space and not interfere with each other.
同じ床で複数人で縄を掛ける場合、相手に七、 自分に三の領域のつもりで掛ける。 互いにそのつもりでいることで、 互いに干渉し合わない五分五分の場を作ることが出来る。
Hime or tono dorobou (姫(殿)泥棒) - Don't be a Princess/Bottom thief
Getting too intimate beyond necessity with a bottom (male or female) that already has a partner is a big no-no. At minimum, courtesy calls that contacts should be had after the partner has been informed and/or permission has been granted. And when applying rope, both sides’ permission should be received first.
主や相方のいる女性又は男性と必要以上に親しくなることは御法度 。相手が知った上で関わることが最低限の礼儀。縄を掛ける場合は両者の同意を得ること。
Ukatsu ayamari (うかつあやまり) - First apology
In the event that rope has been applied without previous knowledge (and permission) that the bottom had a partner, do not blame the bottom but be prompt in apologizing to clean up the air.
相手に主や相方がいることを知らずに縄をかけてしまった場合、 相手のせいにはせずしっかりと謝ることでその場を収める。
Iiwake irazu (いいわけいらず) - No need for excuses
Once the tie is done, don't start making excuses for its shortcoming. It gives a bad impression to the bottom. Accept instead the result with honesty.
縄を掛けた後に、ああだこうだといいわけをしない。受け手にさらに悪い印象を与えてしまう。結果は真摯に受け止める。
Kami hiki (髪ひき) - Don't pull hair
Problems or other matter that come up during a tie and are not dealt with on the spot will fester and drag on. And will often get talked to unrelated parties. Issues should always be discussed on the spot without dragging them on. Don't act in ways that will "pull the hair from the back".
縛られた時に発生した不具合や問題を、その場で伝えずに後に引きずる。当事者以外に伝わることが多い。後に引かずにその場で伝えるべし。後ろから髪を引っ張るようなことはしない。
Ashi biki (足びき) - Don't pull feet
Pulling someone's feet by dragging outsiders into a conflict born by envy and resentment, is not a welcomed behavior.
相手を羨やみ、妬み、 他人を巻き込んで足を引っ張ろうとすること。迷惑極まりない行為。
Onazi kusa (同じ草) - Same plant
No matter the sexual leaning, or preference, at heart we are all the same: humans. And like plants, even if stepped on, we endure and grow. However a plant cannot grow without roots (people) and leafs (people), and they both needs to be nurtured.
どんな性癖もどんな嗜好も、様々な事柄は同じ『人』の心。同じ草のようなもの。踏まれても耐え、育っていくもの。草は根(人)と葉(人)がないと育たない。どちらにも養分を与える必要がある。
Shigusa no michi (しぐさの道) - The way of (good) manners
Even with partners with whom we have built a bond and have feelings for, there will come the time to part ways. Moving on to the next stage without carrying resentment, holding a grudge, hating or blaming is the "way of good manners". Don’t focus on it as the end, but view it as a new beginning.
主や相方と積み重ねた想いや絆も、 いつか別れを迎えることになる。相手を妬み、怨み、憎み、責めることなく、 次の道へ進むのが思草の道。枯れるのではなく、育ち花咲くものである。
Bingo-san has his own blog here (http://shigonawabingo.blog52.fc2.com) and can be found on FetLife here (https://fetlife.com/users/1158998). The lovely Rida's FetLife profile is here (https://fetlife.com/users/4074).
